As close as you want...

This week, my DTS is learning about "The Nature and Character of God." The speaker kicked off the lecture series by saying: "You are as close to God as you want to be." My pride immediately bowed up at that, because it means I have to take responsibility for how near I am to God. "That's not fair," I thought, "What if God doesn't want to show Himself to me in abundance right now? What if He's being quiet, even when I'm pressing in?" But the more I thought about it, the more I agreed with the speaker. God sent His Son, the only one who is fully innocent, the only one who never transgressed against God and therefore never deserved death, to die a painful, shameful, drawn-out, bloody death...just so that the price of our sin could be paid, and we could draw near to Him as sons and daughters, washed whiter than snow. He paid the highest price so that we might know Him intimately and personally, not having to draw near through the means of sacrifices or priests. He died for relationship - real, moving, breathing, dynamic relationship - with us. Romans 8:32 says: "He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?" If He allowed His Son to die an unjust death so that I might draw near to Him, why do I think He would be unwilling to reveal Himself to me, to grant me revelation of His character, to allow me to draw near to Him? This is the God who didn't wait for the prodigal son to walk down the path, didn't even walk to meet him - this is the Father who RAN to meet him (Luke 15:20.) This is the God who went looking for the one sheep, despite the effort it required and the fact that there were ninety-nine sheep that were just fine (Luke 15:3-7.) This is the God who comes for us, even when we're stupid, even when it makes no logical sense to be valued by Him - why would I allow myself to believe that He might withhold Himself from me? I know that God revealing Himself to us looks different in different seasons - I have gone through seasons where the Lord felt silent despite my efforts to draw near. The fact that you can determine your nearness to God isn't supposed to bring shame or heaviness. It doesn't mean that if you're moving towards God and you don't feel God moving back, you aren't doing enough; those are the initial thoughts that made me recoil from the speaker's statement. What it means is that God is present and available, and we get to direct our will to either invite Him in and enable Him to move in our lives...or not. Even in the quiet, hard seasons, we get to determine whether we're going to keep pressing in and hold out for the intimacy that will result when the tough season is over, or whether we're going to let go and see a different outcome. "You are as close to God as you want to be." That has become an encouragement to me, and I'm sharing it because I hope it becomes an encouragement to you. If you want to know God as father, healer, friend; if you want to know what God thinks and how He feels; if you want to know what makes Him smile or cry or laugh...you get to. If you want more intimacy with God, you get it! The means and the timing of the lessons taught to bring that intimacy might look different than you expect, but the bottom line is that He's ready and available and in love with you, desiring intimate relationship with you more than you could ever possibly desire relationship with Him. There is no scheme of the devil, no outside force, no internal shortcoming or weakness that can prevent you from knowing God more. You are as close to God as you want to be; take heart.